Learn how YOU can write clearly using the Flesch Reading Ease and Flesch-Kincaid Grade Level scores, and … StyleWriter 4.

In each challenge, I’ll post 100 to 200 words of HARD-to-understand text.

YOUR job is to make it EASIER-to-understand. Clearer. And, more interesting.

We’ll test each writing sample against two sets of statistics:

• Microsoft Word’s Flesch Reading Ease and Flesch-Kincaid Grade Level scores, AND –
• StyleWriter 4′s Readability Scores

How Do You Win?

Your goal is to get your:

• Flesch Reading Ease score up above 60 
• Flesch-Kincaid Grade Level score below a 9th-grade level

After you’ve downloaded StyleWriter 4, your goal is to make ALL your scores ”Excellent”!

When was the last time you had this much fun?

I’ll go first:

Sample Challenge:

I’ll use the example from the Home Page:

BEFORE

“This sentence expresses itself by utilizing complicated words with an abundant number of syllables, is communicated in the passive voice, and is overly long relative to the point it desires to make.”

After running the text through Word’s Readability Statistics:

• Flesch Reading Ease: 23.6 – “Very Difficult“
• Flesch-Kincaid Grade Level: 17.9 – Requires about 18 years of school to comprehend!

StyleWriter 4 called it “Dreadful”. It suggested changing the following words and phrases:

• Complex Words: utilizing, abundant, overly, and desires
• Wordy Phrases: relative to 
• Passive verbs: is communicated
• Long Sentences: 32 words

“This sentence expresses itself by utilizing complicated words with an abundant number of syllables, is communicated in the passive voice, and is overly long relative to the point it desires to make.”

AFTER

Here’s one way to make the text easier-to read:

“This sentence uses complex words, too many syllables, and the passive voice. Also, it takes too long to make its point.”

Word’s Readability Statistics:

• Flesch Reading Ease: 79.3 – “Fairly Easy”
• Flesch-Kincaid Grade Level: 4.8 – Requires a 4th to 5th grade education to understand

StyleWriter 4 now calls it “Good“.

No long sentences!
No awkward and difficult text!
No passive verbs!

READABLE writing.

Now, it’s YOUR Turn!

CHALLENGE #1

The following example is from the book The Art of Readable Writing, by Rudolf Flesch.

BEFORE:

“Such grievance shall be submitted to such impartial umpire in writing and he shall promptly afford to the Employee or Employees concerned, the Union and the Company, a reasonable opportunity to present evidence and to be heard in support of their respective positions with regard to such grievance.”

After running the text through Word’s Readability Statistics:

Word’s Flesch Reading Ease: 11.8 – “Very Difficult”

Word’s Flesch-Kincaid Grade Level: 23.5 – 23rd grade (Requires about 12 years of higher education to comprehend!)

StyleWriter 4′s “Bog” Readability Index: 152 – “Dreadful”

AFTER:

Once again, I’ll go first:

“You need to send a written complaint to our mediator, Sam Jones. As soon as Sam gets it, he’ll give everyone a chance to tell their side of the story.”

Word’s Flesch Reading Ease: 84.6 – “Easy”

Word’s Flesch-Kincaid Grade Level: 5.3 – 5th grade level

StyleWriter 4′s “Bog” Readability Index: 0 – “Excellent”

Now it’s YOUR turn.

Who’s going first?

C’mon, it’ll be fun!

Benedict Paul:

Hi Dan.

Here’s my take:

“Got a complaint? Write John Doe, our troubleshooter. You can count on him to respect your side of the story.”

Take care.

Benedict

Reply:

Benedict,

Wow! Now YOU’RE in first place!

Here are your scores:

Word’s Flesch Reading Ease: 90.0 – “Very Easy”

Word’s Flesch-Kincaid Grade Level: 2.3 – 2nd grade level

StyleWriter 4′s “Bog” Readability Index: 0 – “Excellent”

And, of course, you also made it interesting!

Thanks for participating and showing how it’s done!

Who’s going next?

Dan

Reply:

Jen:

I’m going to try, before viewing any other answers. I would say:

“Please send a complaint in writing, which will be shared with all concerned parties for discussion.”

Reply:

Jen,

Not bad!

Here are your scores:

Word’s Flesch Reading Ease: 74.2 – “Fairly Easy”

Word’s Flesch-Kincaid Grade Level: 6.8 – 6th grade level

StyleWriter 4′s “Bog” Readability Index: 46 – “Average”

According to StyleWriter, you can bump your score up to “Excellent” if you change the passive “will be shared” to, for example, “we’ll share”.

Thanks for showing how to make the point in a single — short — sentence.

Dan

Reply:

Norman:

This is great! I enjoyed this session. Once again Dan, great site and format! thanks.

Reply:

Martha:

Got a grievance? Type your frustration into an email and send it to (insert name). You will be listened to. Best of all, you’ll receive a response letting you know the next step to take.

Reply:

Martha,

Another winner!

Your scores:

Word’s Flesch Reading Ease: 89.1 – “Easy”

Word’s Flesch-Kincaid Grade Level: 2.9 – 2nd grade level

StyleWriter 4′s “Bog” Readability Index: 0 – “Excellent”

Who else wants to take a crack at this?

Dan

Reply:

Sue Ann Painter:

Good concept. But you have a typo in book reference. Comma goes inside ” mark. Better yet, put the title in italics.

Reply:

Dan:

Sue,

I should know better! I used your italics suggestion.

Thanks!

How about taking the CHALLENGE?

Dan

Reply:

Martin Mayhew:

Send your complaints in writing and all concerned parties will review your grievance.

Reply:

Martin,

Yet another winner!

Here are your scores:

Word’s Flesch Reading Ease: 69.7 – “Standard”

Word’s Flesch-Kincaid Grade Level: 6.7 – 6th grade level

StyleWriter 4′s “Bog” Readability Index: 5 – “Excellent”

Reply:

Carol Robinson:

Here’s my take on it, trying to stick to the original intent as closely as possible:

“Submit your complaint to [name], who will then bring together representatives of the relevant groups to discuss a solution.”

Reply:

Carol,

First, thanks for participating!

Not bad. You made it much clearer!

Here are your scores:

Word’s Flesch Reading Ease: 45.0 – “Difficult”

Word’s Flesch-Kincaid Grade Level: 11.6 – 11th grade level

StyleWriter 4′s “Bog” Readability Index: 36 – “Good”

If you shorten some of the long-syllable words like “representatives” and “relevant”, you can make it even clearer. Would you like to take another crack at this?

Thanks again!

Dan